A Day in the Life Part 1
Something a little bit different today. A day in the life of a PT Part 1.
10 Aug 2017
The gym is my home, it is my life and I get paid to do it. My client today is Susan, think of plumper Suzie Perry and you are not far off her. Is her name even Susan or do I just call her that because of her doppelganger? Never mind. As she does some dumbell bench presses I quickly check the mirror, I belong here. I belong in the weights room of a gym. I hear the sound Susan always makes on the last 2 reps and wait for the inevitable 'those last 2 felt heavy' yes, there it is. She always says that regardless. Today I wasn't paying attention when picking up the weights and gave her lighter ones than normal yet still I get the grunts and the 'those last 2 felt heavy' comment. The're only 8kg dumbells I shout in my head, you normally lift 12kgs! I don't want her to know I messed up because I thought I saw hot girls camel toe and gave her lighter weights through 'manstraction' (my word meaning being distracted by behaviour associated with being a man). She idolises me and I need that to continue, she can not know that I mess up all the time.
I swap the 8kg dummbells for 10kgs and Susan starts her second set. On the other side of the gym someone is walking backwards on a treadmill. People often do that the mentalists. Its quite dangerous but I never stop them as we can all have a good laugh at the CCTV when they fall off. Susan grunts again 'those last 2 felt heavy' she states like clockwork. You could set your watch by her, they are still 2kg lighter than last week!
Susan is doing skull crushers now. I told her they will tone her arms 12 months ago and she has been obsessed with them ever since. I see a woman checking me out in the mirror, I quickly flex my triceps but I'm too late, she looks away before she can be impressed. I decide to keep one eye on her in case I get another chance. My left eye spies Susan getting tired and her form slipping but she loves this exercise so I let her continue. Quick tricep flex, yes the woman saw it and smiles. Jurassic Park, I feel so alive.
I finish Susan off (figure of speech) with some core and shes on her third set of crunches. I say crunches but she mainly just nods her head and grunts for the last 2 reps. Unlike when she lifts weights she doesn't say 'those last 2 felt heavy' correctly acknowledging that she is lifting herself and does not want to contemplate that she is too heavy (she is). The woman from the treadmill earlier is now going sideways up a stairclimber and one of my colleagues goes to speak to her. He just flirts and lets her continue the sly sod, that's my move. The women in the gym want you to flirt with them. They don't want to know that what they are doing is a waste of time. They want to feel good, to feel sexy and that a man 10 years younger hem thinks they are worth flexing their pecs for. They are, they all are.
Realising my PT session with Susan should have finished 10 minutes ago and my distractions have lost me value protein shake time I say goodbye. 'See you next week Su..' I start to say Susan but cut short just in case that isn't actually her name.
Dam it, my next client is here early. She said she might be, but she also says she only eats 1400 calories a day, right! For dinner maybe. I now have a dilemma as I need to take a protein shake to remain in the anabolic window. For the uneducated the Anabolic Window is a post training period where you have to take protein to get gains. It is firmly backed up with science (I read it on a protein company blog no less). I need to top up my protein or I lose my gains and gains are my primary focus in life. I tell my next client Joan to go and warm up on a Curve treadmill as I have to 'go to the toilet'. Now the Curve's are located such that she will not being able to see if I go to the toilet or into the Staff Room for a shake. God I am good at this job.
I hastily poor some protein powder into my shaker and after 3 quick, firm shakes (so firm I feel the veins in my arms pop out) I take my first swig. Ah, lumpy. Two more shakes less lumpy I swallow the rest. Great I am now catabolic, or was it anabolic? I decide to just say out loud that 'I am now bolic' and leave it at that. 'You are now Bollocks' replies Pissed Off PT in the corner. See, her doesn't know there difference between catabolic and anabolic either the smug git. A chewing gum should hide any whey burps that will inevitable pop up later. A quick check of my watch reveals this process has taken my under 90 seconds, a new record. I allow 150 seconds for a number one and 300 seconds for a number two (unless curry induced and I default to 150 seconds). This allows me to part complete my pre-client routine. Phone out, music, Chesney Hawkes selected, Play. 'I am the One and Only, I am Average PT'.
That's my diary Pissed Off PT!!!
Too be continued
EDIT
There have been a few people (low carbers) who think this post is real story. For the benefit of those who don't provide enough glucose to thier brain the post is fiction. However, there are PTs out there who do all bad things above and this post is to highlight this. Too many gyms turn a blind eye to it, that is wrong and has to change. If you see things like this in your gym report it to management.
10 Aug 2017
The gym is my home, it is my life and I get paid to do it. My client today is Susan, think of plumper Suzie Perry and you are not far off her. Is her name even Susan or do I just call her that because of her doppelganger? Never mind. As she does some dumbell bench presses I quickly check the mirror, I belong here. I belong in the weights room of a gym. I hear the sound Susan always makes on the last 2 reps and wait for the inevitable 'those last 2 felt heavy' yes, there it is. She always says that regardless. Today I wasn't paying attention when picking up the weights and gave her lighter ones than normal yet still I get the grunts and the 'those last 2 felt heavy' comment. The're only 8kg dumbells I shout in my head, you normally lift 12kgs! I don't want her to know I messed up because I thought I saw hot girls camel toe and gave her lighter weights through 'manstraction' (my word meaning being distracted by behaviour associated with being a man). She idolises me and I need that to continue, she can not know that I mess up all the time.
I swap the 8kg dummbells for 10kgs and Susan starts her second set. On the other side of the gym someone is walking backwards on a treadmill. People often do that the mentalists. Its quite dangerous but I never stop them as we can all have a good laugh at the CCTV when they fall off. Susan grunts again 'those last 2 felt heavy' she states like clockwork. You could set your watch by her, they are still 2kg lighter than last week!
Susan is doing skull crushers now. I told her they will tone her arms 12 months ago and she has been obsessed with them ever since. I see a woman checking me out in the mirror, I quickly flex my triceps but I'm too late, she looks away before she can be impressed. I decide to keep one eye on her in case I get another chance. My left eye spies Susan getting tired and her form slipping but she loves this exercise so I let her continue. Quick tricep flex, yes the woman saw it and smiles. Jurassic Park, I feel so alive.
I finish Susan off (figure of speech) with some core and shes on her third set of crunches. I say crunches but she mainly just nods her head and grunts for the last 2 reps. Unlike when she lifts weights she doesn't say 'those last 2 felt heavy' correctly acknowledging that she is lifting herself and does not want to contemplate that she is too heavy (she is). The woman from the treadmill earlier is now going sideways up a stairclimber and one of my colleagues goes to speak to her. He just flirts and lets her continue the sly sod, that's my move. The women in the gym want you to flirt with them. They don't want to know that what they are doing is a waste of time. They want to feel good, to feel sexy and that a man 10 years younger hem thinks they are worth flexing their pecs for. They are, they all are.
Realising my PT session with Susan should have finished 10 minutes ago and my distractions have lost me value protein shake time I say goodbye. 'See you next week Su..' I start to say Susan but cut short just in case that isn't actually her name.
Dam it, my next client is here early. She said she might be, but she also says she only eats 1400 calories a day, right! For dinner maybe. I now have a dilemma as I need to take a protein shake to remain in the anabolic window. For the uneducated the Anabolic Window is a post training period where you have to take protein to get gains. It is firmly backed up with science (I read it on a protein company blog no less). I need to top up my protein or I lose my gains and gains are my primary focus in life. I tell my next client Joan to go and warm up on a Curve treadmill as I have to 'go to the toilet'. Now the Curve's are located such that she will not being able to see if I go to the toilet or into the Staff Room for a shake. God I am good at this job.
I hastily poor some protein powder into my shaker and after 3 quick, firm shakes (so firm I feel the veins in my arms pop out) I take my first swig. Ah, lumpy. Two more shakes less lumpy I swallow the rest. Great I am now catabolic, or was it anabolic? I decide to just say out loud that 'I am now bolic' and leave it at that. 'You are now Bollocks' replies Pissed Off PT in the corner. See, her doesn't know there difference between catabolic and anabolic either the smug git. A chewing gum should hide any whey burps that will inevitable pop up later. A quick check of my watch reveals this process has taken my under 90 seconds, a new record. I allow 150 seconds for a number one and 300 seconds for a number two (unless curry induced and I default to 150 seconds). This allows me to part complete my pre-client routine. Phone out, music, Chesney Hawkes selected, Play. 'I am the One and Only, I am Average PT'.
That's my diary Pissed Off PT!!!
Too be continued
EDIT
There have been a few people (low carbers) who think this post is real story. For the benefit of those who don't provide enough glucose to thier brain the post is fiction. However, there are PTs out there who do all bad things above and this post is to highlight this. Too many gyms turn a blind eye to it, that is wrong and has to change. If you see things like this in your gym report it to management.
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